Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
