i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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