just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
