yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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