fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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