love makes seman taste better
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
