wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
