see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
