This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
