The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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