my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
