My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
