Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
