I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
PANTIES FOUND
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