I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
