why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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