So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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