do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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