i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
