I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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