apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My dick has a subreddit
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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