dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
