Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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