Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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