Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
