u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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