Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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