I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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