go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
