we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
