# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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