The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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