so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
