Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
