I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
