so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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