clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
