Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
