so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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