I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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