we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
