I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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