textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We need to rekindle our bromance
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
