I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
