I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
