I didn't shave. On purpose
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
