I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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