White coat. Heels.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
