Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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