Kiss
Puke
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
