Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
