Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

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(937): View more from Ohio

The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life

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(607): View more from New York

You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.

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(775): View more from Nevada

The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.

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