Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
