I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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