Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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