Your dad touched me again.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
