We're facebook friends in real life
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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