Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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