I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
