i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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