You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just had sex on a roof
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
