i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
