that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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